Seriously inadvisable things to do with meat
May 22nd, 2006 by Scott
Hey friends — sorry it’s been so long since my last post, but I’m still working on the epic Jazzfest meat piece. Until that one goes up (it won’t be long, I promise, and well worth the wait!), here’s an alarming link sent my way by astute carnivore J.P.
Apparently, the supply of meat in this country of ours is so abundant that people have actually decided to use it as clothing instead of, I don’t know, say…eating it. I can only ponder the outrage and sheer incredulousness of those living in starving, developing nations if they got wind of this little forray into carnivorous couture:
STARVING MAN#1: Did you hear? They have so much food in America they don’t even know what to do with it. They’re even using it to make clothing!
STARVING MAN#2: Get out! Seriously?
STARVING MAN#1: I swear! That nice visiting doctor told me about it when he came to inform us that he couldn’t get any more aid for our disease ridden, tragically undernourished village.
STARVING MAN#2: You mean, they’re like, making shirts out of corn silk or something?
STARVING MAN#1: Not even — he said they use MEAT for HATS. He saw it on a thing he called the Internet.
STARVING MAN#2: Now I know you’re yanking my chain. How long could a meat-hat even last? A day? Two? No one would be insane enough to waste precious and costly animal flesh like that!
STARVING MAN#1: Dude…they’re Americans, remember?
STARVING MAN#2: Wow. If only I had the energy to stand more than two minutes without collapsing, I’d go to America and stick my foot up some arrogant Yankee ass!
And we have the temerity to wonder why much of the world loathes us these days (aside from that whole war thing, natch). Point is, please, for the love of god and the sake of humanity, don’t waste meat like this, I don’t care how funny the pictures are — and they are admittedly funny — I’m begging you:
Eat your meat; enjoy your meat; DO NOT wear your meat.
