“Hide the armadillos, chef…it’s the fuzz!”
December 5th, 2006 by Scott
is the talk of the town here in Gotham City. Apparently, the NY State Division of Food Safety and Inspection (get your NYSDFS&I T-shirt today!) went on a tear recently, discovering and confiscating huge amounts of “illegal mystery meats.” I swear. According to the news wire, they found everything from armadillos in Queens to iguana meat and cow lungs in my home burrough of Brooklyn, something labeled “smoked rodent,” as well as plenty of “unidentified red meat and mysterious fish paste.” I love that last phrase, by the way. I can just see it now: Nancy Drew in…The Case of the Mysterious Fish Paste.
Funny thing is, there are strict laws about “fair game” (haha) in New York, whereby the state determines which animals are legal to eat and which will get you tossed in the clink. Animals killed in the wild — aka “bush meat” — are legal to eat, assuming they’re legal to hunt, but illegal to sell to others. Monkey meat is strictly taboo, as is the flesh of anything on the endangered species list. I think we all remember The Freshman, don’t we? Oddly enough, animals such as the aforementioned iguana and armadillo are perfectly legal, but only if the meat comes from a lincensed and inspected facility, which, according to officials, are few and far between. Yup: so long as you get the blessing of the state and follow all its byzantine health laws, you too may one day be the proud owner/operator of a bona fide iguana and armadillo meat processing plant.
Now I like my exotic meat as much as the next carnivore, but this is ridiculous. Who would want to eat an armadillo? They’re like heavily reinforced rodents on steroids, man! Granted, most of my experience with these animals has been relegated to seeing them exploded on the side of the road by eighteen-wheelers, which is not really the most appetizing sight. But I will say this: if anyone can find me some legal armadillo from a legally authorized plant, I swear I’ll try it.
‘Dillo burgers anyone?
NOTE: Special thanks to astute carnivore Blake for tipping me off to the story.
Liz wrote on 11/1/08 at 8:15 pm :
This site is amazing.
If do not mind, I shall link it to my blog.